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When i lay down on my bed, under the canopy, i feel my LIFE pass me by... i feel my heart racing and blood pumping! i feel like my head is about to explode. i wounder if i will be able to hold this anger in all my life.. will i be like this the whole way? Will i be able to find the strength inside me to strap down my opressed emotions- getting ready to burst? if they do come out i wounder on who? where? and will it be violent? Do i have that kind of courage and insanity to let out my feelings? When will i be able to be the person i've always wanted to be? the person that i've alwways dreamed about? Will i actually be able to bring up the PAST with my mom? To tell her what actually happened!? When will i do this- when will i finally step up?... I'm ashamed of myself! I LOATH life! I want it to all pass!! ~ but when?.... And once again i fill my head with unanswered questions, i get up walk downstairs and look at everyone woundering if they can hear my ravished brain thinking away... *HEAR ME OUT*


I sing my life through words-FORSAKEN words, that bleed my lips, stitch my ears and burn my eyes... "the truth must never be spoken" he said "my lifes been though worse" he said "just let me live my gay life and DIE" i said...
I hate the shining sun...I love the dead season....I hate my social life, what do I want? i want to be alone!! i want to keep to myself!! i want to be hated, ignored, isolated, abused, tortured...hey, you think I'm psycho? why? its the same effects as LOVE, no? I don't want to be loved, I don't want to be WANTED... I hate my life today and always... I hate the fact that i breathe.. I hate the fact that I don't love myself, but I've always loved the way I'd hate so much... I try to starve... I try to find myself... why wont you leave me alone?
BECAUSE I WANT YOU DEAD!!
I wake up...the pain pulsing through my body.. i rise from bed and glare at the revengful marks from my lost innocence on my limbs... i limp to the door and find that not even my shadow, my reflection was by my side... my dream has finally come true... i've befriended ANA.. she walks through the door... i stare at her hollow eyes as she speaks to me.. i can't hear her.. i can't hear me think..me? I'm not me anymore.. I've become ANA... my figure changes.. my life changes... i walk out the door with her as my shadow... i go outside and find my first VICTIM.. a little girl being bullied down the street.. i make a quick visit as she runs to her room..
WHATS BECOME OF ME!? IS THIS WHAT I'VE WANTED TO BE ALL MY LIFE? IS THIS RIGHT? WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER ME? WHERE DID YOU GO ANA? ... no answer...
*siGh* I don't give a FUCK...
Who will cure my cancerous heart? Who has that power? Who and Where are you? Why do you think you have the solution? What makes you so different from all the others? What would you possibly do with me? Me! ME! ME! ME! ME! HATE ME!!
What the FUCK could love possibly do for me!? Hasn't it done enough already!? I rather my heart stay this way... my heart has a mind of it's own, a heart of it's own and it will bite back!!
I feel my life fading... my shadow walks away...
...a life never lived...never deserved...






---BLOOD-STAINED-SILENCE---
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~Alchemic-Artists Joiiiin Usssss
=vector-artists Vectorize the world!
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-------------------BLOOD STAINED SILENCE-------------------
ANA + CHARLIE = TRUE LOVE FOREVER
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My Gallery- [link]
My Stock Gallery- [link]
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-------------------BLOOD STAINED SILENCE-------------------
ANA + CHARLIE = TRUE LOVE FOREVER
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::photography::
-love me
-hate me
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